Forty and Flatulent -- Uh... I Meant Fabulous ... I Swear!

Happy New Year! Happy New Decade! and Happy 40th Birthday to me!

Born in 1970, every ten years I am privy to entering a new decade of life as society enters a new decade as well. I like the way it works! I can think of the 80's as my Terrorizing Teens, the 90's as my Trendy Twenties, the 2001-2010 my Trepidatious Thirties. And now here comes the 2010-2020 - my Fast and Furious Forties are here!

These next ten years will of course fly by. Prior experience seems to prove this theory. I would be lying if I say I am not feeling some weirdness about the big FOUR O. Throw in some regret too of course, you can't live 40 years without making some major F-ups; but mostly I feel excited. I hear my mother's words, "My forties were the best years of my life, I had a blast!" Thus, I plan to take it slow as it will go and ennnnjoyyyyy the ride.

This milestone, despite its bad reputation, has not thunked me on the head like a random bolder, "THUD, your life is over...." Instead it seems to have tip toed into my happy place, where it is twinkling tiny sparks that feel like permission to fully LIVE! To stop waiting, to jump more and calculate less. Nice.

I remember turning 30 and feeling an intense sense of pressure 'THIS is the decade I have to prove myself, THIS is the decade where I make it or break it.' Oh the pressure I put on myself to become somebody my daughter and my family and myself would be proud of. How many times have I said over the last 20 years, 'I don't want to wake up at 40 and realize x.....or not be x....or not have x.'

Suddenly here I am, and so far I don't even feel the need to measure up to my younger self's expectations. 'Get over yourself, pluheeese....' I tell her. 'See we are good, better than good!'

No, I am not rich yet! Yes, I am not in perfect shape (but hey I did not fully appreciate THAT when I had it). But wow, I am actually not afraid to fail, and not on a mission to "become". It's very freeing. I kinda just feel like hanging out and puttering (wow that sounds old)! Oh well, I guess that's part of it.

This year what can readers of this blog expect? Observation, self-improvement, a few goals to go on about. Details? You want details ok...but let's keep it short:

1. The search for Diane begins. My birth mother is probably in her 60's right about now - I begin with an application to Find My Family on NBC this month.

2. Links to new stories in my portfolio at www.Writing.com, discussions on my favorite books, films, recipes, products etc - Reports on anything that keeps me sexy, sane and centered.

3. Health and Humility - More musings from Training with Trainer Dan - It seems learning how to run and completing a Half-Marathon and another 3-Day are in my future this year!

4. This year begins a year of no dairy and a genetic test to determine my risk for 100 different diseases - the BRAC breast cancer gene among them - a genetic home test by www.pathways.com promises to return to me a list of what I will most likely take me out of this world. Thus I will also learn everything I need to watch out for in the next 40 years, JOY! You will be hearing more about this interesting and important test very soon. I send in my sample tomorrow!

5. Sharing Motherhood - The continued saga of unraveling the secrets of "being there" for my twenty something daughter without "telling her how to live her life." Plus extras on step-parenting my pre-teen son.

6. Under the covers reporting: Middle Aged Married Life (Can it be any worse than it sounds? and "Is Sex in her 40's Really the Best of a Woman's Life?

7. And of course - No one will get away from my jib and jab observations about love, career, life and circumstance while mindlessly walking suburbia.

I guess in honor the decade I should have three more bullets here (will have to get back to you on this one).

Happy B-Day me! And thanks for following!

Patricia